People of the day

micro-dialogs, overheard conversations, and interesting interchanges from those I run into here and there

December 2024

14 - I discuss books with a middle school and high school teacher, T— and G——. The latter asks me for a recommendation to read over break: something meaty (he means nonfiction) and some kind of story. I recommend Taleb’s The Black Swan and A Confederacy of Dunces. T— jumps in with what he’s reading: Justin Cronin’s The Passage, Children of Time, Joe Montgomery. G—— responds with pride how he owns the Tolkien complete set, some 12 volumes, etc. I quickly am reminded that both of them gravitate toward high fantasy. As such, the conversation continues. T— hopes his daughters may get into theater. He wishes he would have, but was too self conscious then and looked down on theater kids as not being cool enough.

November 2024

22 - I speak with a friend about a recent infestation of an unnamed and undesirable animal replicating itself in their basement, and the disgusting removal of their dead bodies as the emanating stench is finally identified.

13 - my mom, interacting with someone at an office:
Woman: I work at ____ (a food processing plant). You like smoked meat?
Mom: Actually, I’m vegetarian!
Woman: Oh, but you eat meat? You can eat meat?
Mom, smiling apologetically: No, I actually don’t.
Woman, incredulous: I’m sorry! No meat? At all?
Mom, smiling, feeling bad: No, ever since I was born.
Woman, shaking head: Oh.

October 2024

21 - Many conversations with various admissions reps at a college fair. Notable: Ben from University of Washington, Bothell campus, who was very helpful and informative. Earlier: ran into a (former) photographer I had guest lecture in my class when I was teaching a few high school classes a decade ago. Remembered her; she now has seven children and remembered me quickly as well. A pleasant interchange. Spoke with my brother Jeremy about The Smile’s new album, and the shows Foundation (he has not seen, but I am a big fan) and Severance (we have both seen, I am a moderate fan). He has been married seven years now, and I am a big fan of his wife as well.

01 - The boys and I spent an hour with Mrs C——-, talking LEGO renditions of Starry Night, the sounds of woodland frogs, and how to play the game Tenzies with dice. Also: Bluey, Veggie Tales, and her upcoming trip to Montana to see her newest granddaughter. Chr——— dropped by and a conversation ensued about screens and phones. “This,” she said, pointing to the boys drawing quietly and furiously while we talked, “this is what we want homeschooling to be: the ability to entertain themselves without a screen.” I believe the sentence I just wrote is a very definition of humblebrag. I won’t pretend otherwise. Yes, it did feel good. It is a lot of work, over time, to invest in setting roots down where we, and our family ecosystems, can choose ways to engage with each other and in pursuits that do not involve immediately picking up some sort of screen at every opportunity or free moment. It is nice, I admit, to occasionally someone acknowledge the fruits of that.

I spoke with Jonny about his work on their house and an unwanted adjacent tree whose roots have become an unwelcome visitor to their foundation.

October 2023

10 - I spoke with a mom who is not altogether pleased with her daughter’s math education. I spoke with an old college classmate, E—-, who saw me in the school hallway. She just got hired to assist with assessments.

I spoke with my friend T——, who almost got run over in the parking lot by an aggressive woman. My son’s old science teacher, Mr S——, stopped me in the hallway to shake my hand and say hi. I spoke with M—- about their upcoming harvest party, their visit with old California friends, and scary movies they’ve seen this month - just finished the latest Halloween entries. Talked with a fellow parent-prop-painter about their upcoming Disneyland trip and scary movies. “You watch scary movies?” she asked, and came across to me as very surprised. A short dialog led to Shyamalan and Haunted House, which she took her kids to but did not like one of the scary trailers before. I think we’re on different wavelengths with movies. Tried moving to Christmas and holiday ones. We agreed on Spirited being a new classic, but she does not like many of the so-called classics, such as A Christmas Story or It’s a Wonderful Life - doesn’t like how everything is falling apart, but then gets resolved in the last five minutes. Doesn’t like movies like that, and also brought up Pursuit of Happyness. Doesn’t like for the same reason.

September 2023

16 - Three assistants at the library.

I asked the first, as she re-shelved in the New Books section, what she was enjoying. “I like Mysteries,” she said, and as I asked further, spoke of her love for Louise Penny. She couldn’t remember the name of the first in the series, so marched to the front to ask her co-worker to look up the first; I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was capable of doing so myself, so…

…after this question was answered - Still Life in 2005 - she triumphantly returned to re-shelve. Her co-worker and looker-upper, sporting glasses and bangs, identified herself as a fan of Horror, and went on to talk about how great Becky Chambers is. I was not familiar with her either, but she waxed eloquent.

Her co-worker behind the counter announced with a grin that she is a member of a book group that reads…Romance. “Like…Danielle Steele?” I asked. She smiled and maybe blushed. “Like…ones with titles like “The Ice Barbarians,” she said with a giant smile. I laughed and said something about You mean the ones with those fantasy-type covers? and she started laughing and said Yeah, those high-fantasy type ones.

Finally I left, and I just love public libraries.

12 - A grieving friend waiting for the inevitable in a parent’s final hours. A happy friend, M—-, going home to welcome old California friends from their group up for the week. A grandmother, S—, looking out for her granddaughter and the opportunities she’s given to excel in the field she cares about. A teacher, Mr C——, taking a break from lecturing about supply chain issues using dairy production as a macroeconomic example to instruct me how to start a pot of coffee. A teacher, Mrs C——, cheerfully greeting me from a hundred feet away and letting me know how glad she is I’m there, and introducing me to a fellow teacher, Mr M——-, as he stepped out of the adjacent classroom. A cheerful Starbucks barista who accidentally made me a teeny tiny iced coffee instead of the trenta I ordered.

June 2023

May 2023

21 - “We’ve got kids back home,” Becca explained as we prepared to exit the wedding. “Yeah, I’ve got a baby opossum waiting for me at home,” the man, S——, replied, and went on to share with us how difficult it is to care for an opossum, including the specifics of what he feeds it, which includes apple juice, puppy food, and a number of other things. “They’re nocturnal, so it keeps me up all throughout the night because that’s when they feed,” he explained, and I am certain we know more about his opossum than he knows about our children, which is okay. It is a fortunate opossum to be cared for in such a loving manner. Also, we talked briefly about Artificial Intelligence; he showed as an image of a girl in a stream and a landscape that he had…created(?) on an AI platform, using AI prompts. It was the first conversation about AI I’ve had that was rooted in the mechanics and process of somebody playing with it, versus the ethical, moral, and philosophical quandaries surrounding it.

19 - An interchange with a fellow, R—, who decided I was okay after discovering I was the father of the Napoleon Dynamite dancer (she had been in a theater showcase previous to this). He excitedly went on to tell me how she nailed it, how hard he laughed, and he he watches the movie Hot Rod at least 50 times a year. “At least 50,” he said.

A dialog with a mom, K——, and polyglot (speaks seven languages) about health care. She talked about how ridiculous it is that the U.S. doesn’t have a universal form of health care. She related an incident from Estonia and marveled at the ways other civilized societies take care of people’s health.

18 - I spoke with a mom, K——-, about chess, and her son’s involvement with it. She inquired if our son had started tournaments yet. I said no. She said that her husband has started, in addition to her son.

I talked with another mom, J———, about what she enjoys doing. Crocheting. She enjoys crocheting. She is working on a blanket. I expressed my lack of knowledge regarding crocheting, but stated my love of sewing; albeit at a very basic level.

I watched a group of young elementary students take a tour of the library.

I talked with Rob at a car place, who helped fix a key fob and was incredibly patient and kind; a manner reminiscent of Matthew from Anne of Avonlea.

April 2023

24 - I reached through my driver’s window to get my coffee, and she told me it would be just a minute. Then she held out a different item and said, ‘do you want a free vanilla shake?’ There are things you should never so no to, so I didn’t. And then she gave me my iced coffee too. Except I had already paid for that, so she didn’t give that to me.

21 - I spoke to the fellow at True Value Hardware about a plumbing fix for a kitchen sink, and after providing some options, he taught me that you can go online - to ‘the cloud’ - to find out more about plumbing issues. After serving up this springboard, he launched himself into explaining what ‘the cloud is’ and how to avoid if possible. “I don’t keep anything in the cloud, in fact, I’m thinking of going back to one of those old flip phones. I don’t connect to nothing. Know what I’m saying?” I thanked him for his advice and noted that it is an intelligent decision to think carefully about privacy, surveillance, and data protection issues. Then I went home to fix the sink, and the entire pipe collapsed. So I had to go back.

19 - I spoke to J—-, a 65-year old barista who is retiring next year. I inquired about her week, and she told me about what a great winter it’s been for skiing, and all the places she’s been to, including Park City, Bachelor, and Meadows (twice). Next year when she retires she’s getting a pass to go to a bunch of different ones, and getting her girlfriends to jump on as well. Her husband doesn’t ski. After I got my third cup of the morning, she handed my mug back with a “…thirsty boy this morning!” At 46 years old and 19 years her junior, it was a little humorous being referred to in that manner.

18 - I spoke to my brother Jonny on the phone while he thumbed through his sports cards and ate banana bread. Spoke to my brother Jamey on the phone, at a different point, about the new show - which I have not seen and cannot recall - that is starring the fellow from Better Call Saul - whose name I cannot recall and another show which I have not seen. We also spoke briefly about The Power, a show which I have not seen. “Is that the one about the teen girls who can electrocute people?” I asked. “Yeah,” he said. We also spoke briefly about the ending of The Last of Us, a show which I have seen, aside from the last episode; the penultimate episode was very violent, and I actually thought it was the season-ender.

March 2023

24 - speaking to my brother Jonny on the phone and setting a new bar for confidence in a sibling:

“I trust you,” he said. “If you told me to show The Exorcist to my daughter, I would. That’s how much I trust you. That’s probably my best quote of the day. It’s been a day.”

17

Talked to a senior, W——- about his plans to enter the Navy, with an eye to join the SEALs. Meandered to other topics including black swans, calculus, and the traits of resilience and attention.

Talked to another senior, E——, about his plans to go into Army Corps of Engineers, and his excitement over what his dad does as a mechanical engineer on a number of projects contracted from the military.

16

I spoke to a teacher, Mrs D, about her grandson who turned two months old…today! I was rather proud of myself for remembering. We talked about the upcoming Treasure Island play, her marathon training, and her love of Anthony Burgess and the novel 1985.

A teacher, Mrs M——-, greeted me by name in the hall. I said hi, and then continued…but doubled back thirty seconds later to tell her thank you. She has consistent greeted me by name, and that is unusual. I am on friendly terms with many there, but she is one of the few who calls me by name.

07 - Micro-exchanges

1. A senior asks me what time it is. When I tell her, she thanks me, pauses, and says: ‘Now…what was your name again, Mr. ?…’ - Joseph, I said, smiling. I appreciate her effort.

2. A high school advisor graciously spends a large chunk of time helping us brainstorm and map out our 15-year old’s classes for next year.

3. I ask a Starbucks barista I saw a couple weeks ago how she’s liking her new Subaru CrossTrek. She had been on the way to pick it up when I last saw her. I love it! She says, handing over my dark roast black.

4. A senior, in passing, hails me cheerily. I comment on his haute couture pants. ‘Made them yourself?’ I inquire. Yeah, I did! He says. I appreciate his spirit and style.

5. A sophomore talks about dog sitting, watching Pirates of the Caribbean with her sister, and how great her dad is as a barista after many mornings of practice. I appreciate her willingness to converse.

6. A woman tells me about how great the new Prime series Josie and the 6 is after three episodes.

7. Another mom talks about driving for UberEats and how tips are best in Vancouver.

8. I ask a grandmother how her snow week (last week) went. ‘I’m primary caregiver for a 6-year old boy who is very, very active,’ she said, smiling. ‘It was a long week.’

   February 2023

   15 - 6am coffee with my friend. We talk weather, interest in living in either of the Dakotas (extreme weather!) (and disinterest in Georgia (bugs!), and the joy of road life, sleeping on couches versus beds and embracing life less mundane. We order refills. We discuss teaching in the private sector versus public education. I get on a high horse and start to go down converging rabbit burrows of social media usage, privacy issues, surveillance, and modeling a life for the next generation that is built around real life conversation rather than the instant gratification screens and social media provide. We discuss a possible 5.30 start next go-round.

   11 - Loud, overlapping haystack dinner conversations about vegetarianism, eating dolphin in Jamaica, eating meat pizza in Missoula and the contradictory memories of me and Becca. We discuss great memory movie-watching with my sister Lanessa, who just turned 27.

   Movies & TV referenced: Hush, Sound of Music, I Am the Longs, Hannah Montana, Once Upon a Time, Jane the Virgin, …

   06 - I pull over to the shoulder to ask the mid-60s, bald, suited man if he needs help. Gas. He needs gas. I offer to drive him to a station. Turns out he’s…lost his wallet. He’ll follow me. ‘Then why…’ I ask, ‘…did you pull over here?’ I follow you, he says. Nah, I say, and get back in my car. Before I’m back on the road, the person with him takes off flying down the road. I follow them to PDX, which is a far cry from empty and a far cry from the nearest gas station.

   I call R——- and speak with her about the Leonard Cohen documentary she’s watching, while drinking tea. She recommends the band Monster Rally. It is a short good conversation.

January 2023

18 - 6am coffee with my friend. We drink black and discuss historical versus scientific method differences in analyzing and pursuing truth, against the backdrop of literature, religion, and history. At the end, brief mentions of Rush, Leonard Cohen, and Rachmaninov.

16/17 - Shared excitement over a first grandchild’s imminent arrival - texts from one of our children’s teachers. Heartwarming.

2022

December 2022

31

A preacher talked about what we leave behind and how it relates to what we look forward to. He spoke of blind spots and the problems of focusing on what we did right. ‘When anything other than Jesus becomes the focus of our spiritual identity, something is wrong.’

He went on to speak of religious identity within communities one grows up in, and how these become important parts of who a person is. Compared to Paul in Romans and how to move forward in surprising ways, in part by rejecting even ‘the good things.’ That is a brief summary of what he spoke.

21

Normally…I have great mini-conversations with Trader Joe’s employees. But this was an outlier. He looked up from scanning my items and commented on how stressed I looked.

Umm, I said, my day’s actually going fine. Not really sure how you’re picking up on that! How about you? Going alright?

He refused to give ground, shaking his head at me: No, you’re stressed. I can tell you’re crazed and stressed. I can see it in your eyes. I’m Jewish. I can tell.

Me: Uhh, no.

There’s no conclusive or satisfactory ending. I didn’t demand to see management. I didn’t escalate it. I just left with a very strange feeling. Huh? What? That is certainly a way to get a person “…crazed and stressed.” Maybe I was part of some psych survey he’s doing for a class. I don’t know.

November 2022

10

I spoke to a math teacher, Mrs B———-, about my appreciation for how she teaches ‘the how.’ In other words, there’s a lot of times in Math where I know the right answer…but it’s difficult to explain and step through how I came to it. Kind of like the type of book where you know you who did it early on, but the joy is in learning about how it happened that why, even though you know where it ends up.

I spoke to a friend of ours in the hallway and the young boy she and her family have been fostering for the past couple years. She is incredible, and the grace she shows in speaking about his birth parents; the generous spirit she has in deflecting praise and talking about the ways others have helped and are important…incredible.

I talked with a mom, J———, while going through student papers, in a classroom. Her daughter is in 5th and likes drawing flowers. Her sons are sophomores and planning on going on an upcoming Europe trip. She asked questions as well. It has become an uncommon thing, to speak with people who also inquire about your life as well.

01
A woman told me, wide-eyed and grim-faced, about the challenges of having (now young adult) twins. “I’d get two of the exact same thing and hand one to each of them, and they’d look at the other and say ‘I want that one, so I’d have them switch and then they’d say ‘No, I want that one,’ and I said ‘I’m going to kill you.’ I said that. I don’t even know how many times I said that. I looked at them and said: ‘I am. Going. To. Kill you.’

(note: the fact that she stated this loudly, inside a large space filled with many other people, led to believe that she did not, in fact, follow through on this statement. I also felt it was not the occasion to point out that twins do not always own the market on this behavior. But I don’t have twins.)

This woman is a character, and went on to tell me about the chaos of the day, about a dental office that failed to text (instead of call) to let her know the hygienist was out sick, leading her to drive 40 minutes to a canceled appointment, leading her to ask if they were going to reimburse her gas. I also declined to offer up the fact that I am married to a hygienist. Not the one who called in sick.

I spoke to my friend and teacher G—— about a book discussion, and how it is getting bumped up because his daughter just informed him of a choir performance that same night, and because she is a senior, he needs to go.

October 2022

11
I spoke with a fellow parent as we painted buckets for an upcoming production of Annie. We discussed Russian literature (specifically Crime & Punishment, and her experience reading in both English and Russian). Like me, also loves Chekhov. Recommended the short stories of Nikolai Gogol. I suggested Borges. Also: Shakespeare, opera (her mother sang in Moscow’s Pushkin Theatre!). Challenges of moving countries as an adolescent. Different perspectives on Ukraine/Crimea/Russia conflict.

August 2022

28
I spoke with my father-in-law about drones and paragliding.

12 - I spoke with a woman at the dump about what it was like working there. “You get used to the smell,” she said. I asked what’s the most surprising thing she sees people getting rid of. She laughed. “Everything. You wouldn’t believe the stuff people just get rid of.” Then she got serious and contemplative. “The hardest thing to see people get rid of is photo albums.” She shook her head. “This generation has everything on their phones, so they’ll come in - young people - with photo albums, full of photos, and just…dump. Get rid of. Because they have everything they want on their phones.”

July 2022

Sometime in July - The worker at O-Reilly’s Auto Parts telling me about the guy who yelled at her because she told him at an intersection that his water line was hanging down, draining onto the road. And he got angry and told her it was none of her business. I wished her a happier day then she had experienced before then, and she smiled and said thanks.

28 - Suddenly I heard a gasp and Becca said Aaah, it’s garbage morning! We heard the truck one house up from ours, and we had everything ready to go, but hadn’t taken it up to the top of the driveway to be collected. She raced out and hauled it up, but it was too late. We are almost at the top of a mountain, and the truck had already passed and was a hundred years down-mountain from ours. Tough break and not the end of the world. Just not an ideal way to kick off what would be another frenetic Monday. Then…the sound of a transmission change. Look downhill. The truck is backing up - backing up, uphill, slowly, back to our place. The driver had seen Becca in the rear view and come back to collect. With a smile and wave he emptied it and took off again. People like this…wow. Let us be these people for others. Thank you.

May 2022

16

I spoke with K—- about her weekend trip to Yachats. She saw whales four different times. My five-year old took pictures of passersby in the hallway as we talked.

I talked to T—— about her weekend trek to the Oregon Coast, which included a roll through Tillamook. We made tentative plans to take her hiking to a favorite secret spot in the Columbia Gorge this summer.

April 2022

19

I spoke with Dominic, a late-50s Italian fellow - actually here on a work visa from Italy - here doing shifts on one of the Willamette River projects. He stopped me and my friend in downtown Southwest Portland around 9pm, wondering where Target was. Because he’s from Italy, he doesn’t have a plan with all the GPS stuff plugged in. My friend Steve got him the step-by-step directions off his phone while we chatted. Dominic asked us about all the massive tents along the sidewalks, and threw up his hands. Americans! he said. You can spend millions of dollars on wars overseas, but you can’t four walls and a roof over these people’s heads? I mean, they might be terrible people, and I might not get along with any of them, but to be living like that?…that’s not right. It’s just not right. Millions of dollars on wars overseas, and this is how you treat your own people? I don’t get it.

I sighed. I hear you, I said. I’m Joseph.

18

I spoke with J—— at the library about Homeward Bound and The Incredible Journey. We were trying to remember which came first. He and his daughters enjoy old Disney films, and we reminisced about the films of Dean Jones, including The Love Bug, Cannonball Express, and The Ugly Dachsund. The latter led into a convo about pronunciation of dachsund, and I reminded him well-read people often mispronounce words. :)

We spoke with Miss D—- at school about her vacation and brought her a post-Easter unicorn basket with some candy.

We talked with Mrs. R——- about her Spring Break trip to Arizona to see her son. They did some hiking and had a great time.

I chatted briefly with Mrs D——— about her Spring Break trip to NYC to see her son, visit museums, and go to a Yankees game. It was a highlight: opening game facing hated rivals the Sox; opened with Ukrainian anthem, stirring and memorable.

16

I talked with a fellow on the sidewalk outside White Salmon downtown and somehow, it turned to talk of one of his friends. Turns out you gotta be careful about what you eat around here, because his friend has had all these tests and experiments done on him…except it’s not really his friend - he laughed - it’s actually one of his friends’ clones. His real friend lives somewhere out of the city, undisclosed location. You can tell he’s the original because he has an incision - my new friend showed me where - on his shoulder. That’s where all the clones of his friends have come from. The clones who being experimented on nearby. Yikes.

March 2022

26

I spoke at a party to A—- about Costco and how great of an investment it is. He heartily agreed, having worked there for over a decade and being vested 100% in Costco stock; an option (no pun intended) that he was grandfathered into at that point, but is now maxed out at 50%. Seven-figure 401(k) vested in Costco stock alone…which is pretty cool. Just be glad for the handful of shares I bought at 190 a while back (closed today 569).

Spoke to a woman, N——, who is the parent of one of our son’s classmates. Turns out we went to the same college…and graduated the same year…which we means we actually marched together. Trippy.

Talked with K—— about growing up in Estonia, its people’s and language’s similarities to Scandinavia over Russia, and The Singing Revolution. There’s a documentary about it that’s a must-see, she says.

24

I spoke to Matt K——- at school about the idea of encouraging everyone to spend a minute on the playground, at the end of lunch, picking up balls and garbage. Then I exchanged pleasantries with Crossing Guard Julie.

15

I spoke V——- while we put together sets for a theater production. Her son is on year 3 of teaching English in Japan.

I talked with H—— about her upcoming book that will be released in October. A Gothic thriller, it will be her 10th. Also, I inquired about her intent to move back to Ohio after her youngest graduates.

I chatted with M—- about growing up in Iowa.

14

I spoke with D— at the library about her weekend and her son’s love for Star Wars and Winnie the Pooh. I love that combo.

2021

April

15 - Should we get pregnant again? I don’t know if I should stop. But for the health of all of us, I think it’s best we move on. I don’t think I should be ninety years old with a fifteen year old. - wisdom from a certain person I’m married to

11 - me and 11-year old niece

You strike me as the kind of person who doesn’t know how to ride a bike.
-her response, after I informed her I was one of the world’s great bicyclers

10 - me and my 11-year old niece

Me: do any of you have your phones, if I need to get ahold of you while we run to the lake with the younger kids?

Her, nodding vigorously: I do. I have lots of experience with this sort of thing.

10 - me and my 11-year old niece

Me: how’s the stock market looking?

Her: pretty good. I’ve been buying and selling bodies. Business has been reaaalllly good, so that’s wonderful. Yeah. Bodies.

March

28 - I got old so fast.
- My wife bemoans, shaking her head

2020

August

20 - Real quick, before you go to bed tonight, would mind switching the piano that’s downstairs with the one we have upstairs? I want to see which one I like up here more. I was thinking every season we could switch them out. - my wife, the Countess Becca

2019

2018

2017

2016

July

23 - Killer quotes
Do you have a dad who wanders around, and wonders aloud about existential queries such as "are we human? or are we dancer?" ?
I do.
What’s next, Brandon Flowers is coming over for lunch?

2015

January

15 - I kind of wish Frozen had never been invented,
our daughter said.

I liked watching it once, but now it seems like a bunch of people want to have Frozen parties and wear princess clothes and sing songs from the movie. And I'm tired of it.

I think I know what you mean.
I said.
I liked watching it once too.

2014

January

18 - A couple talking. A striking couple, approximately…39 and 36?
Him, to her: You look real pretty and you smell good.
Her: Why thank you. Ditto, dude.

02 - 3yo: Can we go to Egypt?
Me: Why?
Him: Because Jesus lives there.

2013

June

11 - Two teens talking at library: a male and female

Him: I've been with this girl for 5 1/2 months…and I just don't understand…
Her: Um, I’m not just any girl…I'm your brother's girlfriend.
Him: I'm just socializing...

May

02 - at the library (how to support your school)

“My daughter doesn’t like the principal,” one mom whispers to another, “she says he doesn’t care about them.” She drops her voice slightly. “And I have to say…I think she’s right.”

April

21 - The able-bodied woman walked across the parking lot, unloaded her items, and returned her shopping cart…

…returned it to the handicapped parking space, thus shaving five seconds off her return time. Double-fail. Am I a horrible person for wishing her to have cockroaches in her breakfast cereal tomorrow? I'm not saying I'm wishing that, but what if I was?

January

10 - Mid-40s woman on phone, clutching mid-morning frappuccino:

"I know, I don't know if I can keep her! Her idea of quality is just not up to mine!"

Slurp. Oblivious to other patrons as she grumbles about her cleaning lady. Slurp.

2012

July

24 - At the library, talking about banks (it’s not my fault)

“Do you know what happened at the downtown branch?” she asked her friend, not waiting for a response. “It said I had already made 33 copies! And I hadn't! I asked for a new PIN number. I can't have changed it myself. It has to be the card. I finally had got my account number memorized for the bank. I was at the bank last week, and they asked me. That was the first time I remembered. But they still ask you the same questions: where was the first street you lived on?”

2010

March

08 - A three-year old waking up in a FURY: “Where’s Mama? No! I want Mama to put my panties on!”

01 - How to negotiate when you’re three years old?

Daddy, I want to kick you.
- Uh, no, we do not kick!
No, I will just kick you gently.

2009

December

14 - A two-year old:

Hey, we need to get you some socks, I informed her.

Okay, she said, in 2-year old monotone. First we will get me some socks. Then we will go play basketball.

Okay. I said. That is a solid plan.

November

13 - A two-year old:

Umm, can I talk to you about something special, Dodi?

Me: Of course!

She holds out two bottles of bubbles: Here is the special bubbles. Do you want to take the lid off?

Pause.

I will get money to buy more. At Target.

11 - A two-year old:

Me: I sweep her up, squeeze her tight. “I just like you so much,” I say.

She leans back, sizes me up. “I like Aunty Lanessa so much,” she pronounces. “I don’t like you.”

I don’t believe you. I said. And I believe time will prove me correct.

2008

2007

December

25 - Our mom and one of her children:

Her: Oh…you don’t watch porno, do you?
Him: Not very much.
Her: That’s one thing I hope my boys never get into.