They’re not alive, and they’re walking (good thing I’m in a hot air balloon).
This is not my friend Wolf. This is my dad, Lee. This is from seven years ago. He is using a rake. I will choose him on my team when the zombie invasion begins. Also, I will hide in his attic. Wolfgang and I (see below) will strategize from there.
The following is a post from my friend's wall. When I say "my friend," I mean that I have met him exactly one time, and think he is a fine fellow (the brother of my cousin's significant other :) I was chuckling away on the computer as we bantered about The Walking Dead. Thank you, Jen, for having a cool brother. Wolfgang, you cool.
His question:
If they were to put you in The Walking Dead as a new character, what would your character be like?
Hot Air Balloon Guy.
I wrote on his post.
It's kind of a self-explanatory character. He's never really in any danger, but as a journalist, he takes Polaroids of the carnage happening beneath for the benefit of documenting history. Did that answer your question? (which was a great question).
I'd be the dude with a huge club.
he said.
Why waste the bullets and make a bunch of noise. Set me out in a field of zombies, and pull the bodies out of the way as I clear the field.
That's a really good idea.
I wrote.
I'm conjuring up another idea as I write...
…got it: my other character would be a dude with two huge clubs. Unfortunately, there would be too many zombies in one episode, and the guy with two clubs would be forced to club the guy with only one club in order to get away. Just a really inventive plot point I came up with. Sorry about having to club you.
I liked it better when you were in a balloon photographing my carnage,
Wolfgang said.
It's a two-person balloon,
I explained,
but there's probably no room for your club.
Well, I would have 5 clubs,
Wolfgang explained.
1 for each hand, then duct tape 1 to each foot, and hold the fifth in my mouth. Then I could do cartwheels and be the zombie club-o-matic of death.
My mind,
I quickly wrote,
is not big enough to imagine anything more awesome and terrifying than that. That is an amazing character. Except...what if you had TWO clubs in each hand?
What would your theme music be as you're smasing in zombie heads?
someone I don’t know wrote.
What is the walking dead?
Another friend of Wolfgang’s wrote.
John,
Wolfgang replied.
it's a TV show on AMC about people living in a zombie apocalypse. It is very awesome. Zack, I'd pick something ironic, like a slow, mellow italian opera. Everything would move in slow motion, and bits of brain matter would fly as a soprano sings a very soulful operatic song.
