MATT CRITIQUES MY DRIVING.
I was driving next to you on the Interstate. You were obeying the speed limit. You were talking to yourself I think. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
- Joseph Long Ha! I was probably either transcribing a story, singing along to Leonard Cohen, or...talking to myself. I saw you too, I think. Were you on a two-wheeled unicycle or an automobile? Either way, I definitely saw you too. And I was driving the speed limit? Please make sure and tell Becca because she has been encouraging me to try driving faster than usual, and your statement will be good evidence on my behalf. So sorry we didn't connect - next time, let's pull over to the side of the road and play a round of UNO or Texas Hold Em. Or maybe I'll just try to wave. Good day, to you, friend.
Matt Westermeyer I think you were talking on the phone but I didn't want the Oregon State Patrol to read my post and apprehend you. So I actually think you were talking to yourself.
Joseph Long I was definitely not talking to Jeremy Long about Cat Power and PJ Harvey. But if I was, the cellular telephone would be safely ensconced in our broken cup holder, obeying my every voice command.
Also, I used 'transcribe' incorrectly above, and am mortified. Pretend that I correctly said 'dictate.'- Matt Westermeyer It was in your right hand, about halfway between your broken cupholder and your face. But that's just between you and me.
- Joseph Long I hesitate to outright call you a liar...but that's impossible, because I would not do something so unsafe. And besides, I couldn't have been HOLDING a phone because I was stirring coffee with one hand and doodling in my sketchbook with the other. If you do the mathematics, you will discover that would leave me no free hands for being illegal. So...I guess you're feeling a little embarrassed now about those hasty allegations.
- Joseph Long I must learn how to do that. Embellish. And...in a rare moment of honesty, I suddenly recall there may have been a brief moment where I picked up the phone to do something important. I think maybe I was thinking of calling you and seeing if you wanted to start taking a juggling class with me. Because I truly want to learn juggling. But NOT while driving. That would be unsafe.
And I am sorry for being dishonest. I lied, and I will not do it again today while I'm driving. 
Sara Gaje Westermeyer I'm looking at the times that these post are being posted...Matt aren't you supposed to be working and Joseph Long don't you have some children that need story time? Hmmmmm....- Matt Westermeyer As an Emergency Medicine physician my responsibility also includes the automobile safety habits (or lack thereof) of my friends and strangers. Just doing my part to make this a better place. You're welcome.
- Joseph Long Thank you, Dr. Matt. You can never be too safe, although I do question the actual value of bicycle helmets. They're more of a fashion thing, right? And Sara, your sleuthing/snooping is admirable, but...ha! The children are long asleep. We run 'em hard. Safely. And we rarely let them talk on the phone while driving.
I could make some half-hearted comment about wasting my time on Facebook, but I don't think bantering and bonding with good friends is a misuse of my time right now. Although I suppose I could go help Becca with the dishes..but no, it sounds like she's enjoying some time to herself...
It has been good, friends. Becca and I were speaking of what an adorable little family you are. Tell those little ones a hearty hello from us tomorrow. Or tonight, if you're still telling them stories