A thousand times I will say yes.
Brothers
No matter what time I am up in the morning, there is already a boy awake. Oftentimes two…
…nestled up together on a couch, drawing and discussing matters of import intently like two artistes in a 1920s Parisian cafe. Approximately one hundred percent of the time, it something political in nature.
Sometimes 6am isn’t too early to be discussing politics.
Two
It has been fascinating, having children of different ages, seeing the different ways each of them learns.
It’s a bittersweet - emphasis on the sweet - part to see our older ones teaching our younger ones so much.
Things that we once taught them on our own, and now they have taken the mantle - unconsciously, subconsciously usually - and are passing those things along. I miss being able to be “the big resource and source of expertise.” But that is the way of learning: you give everything you have to your students as a teacher or parent, and you trust that they learn so well that they will surpass you,
and become even better teachers.
Which they are doing. It is, strangely, a hard pill sometimes. But a necessary and beautiful one.
Queen / King
Did you guys watch anything after we went to bed?
she asked.
Yeah. I said.
A partial episode of The Queen’s Gambit.
Do you remember Tiger King?
she asked.
Never watched it.
I said.
But yeah, I remember it being a big deal where it seemed like almost everyone had seen it toward the beginning of the pandemic.
Made me think about the ways in which we absorb content; content that is sometimes simply fascinating, entertaining, or educational to us. And then there’s content that sometimes feels like we “need” to watch because it’s a cultural phenomenon, or touchstone, or something…we “need” to be part of.
I try not to live my life in nostalgia or reminiscing about the past…but today, I miss Seinfeld and Friends. And what they represented: two of the last viewing experiences to feel shared on some level. In large part due to the captive audience of network programming. Again, I’m not wishing for a return to that era of digital captivity…but like many things, I want the best of what’s new and the best of what’s old. Basically, change without pain, loss, or nostalgia-burn. 😂😬
And no, I’m not counting Game of Thrones as a collective viewing experience.
Also, I am impressed with the character arc of Beth; the primary character in Queen’s Gambit. Her behavior and personality has continued to build beyond what easily could have been cliche.
3 / 10
A three-year old arguing at the breakfast table over when he will be older.
You’ll never be older than me,
the 10-year old informed seriously, with a gentle smirk.
YES I WILL,
the younger replied with a confident smirk.
After my next birthday, I will be older than you!
Sadly, he does have one thing in common with our current (soon to be ex-) President: some things you just can’t wish into existence when they collide with reality.
Hurt
We have some children whose instinctual reaction, after getting hurt, is often to get angry. That includes anger at whoever is trying to help.
And we have one who throws his arms around the nearest comforting figure.
I love all of them the same. But I love the way one of them responds after getting hurt more so than the others.
This is Three (Sad)
Hey daddy, guess what: I was going to have a picnic with Brinah*, but then he didn't feel like doing it.
*our 3-year old’s nickname for his 10-year old brother
This is Three (Excitement)
Hey Daddy!
he shrieked,
I found a very good book! Would you like to read it with me a thousand times today?
Well, I said.
Maybe we start with one?
Oh yeah, good idea,
he replied, equally enthusiastic about my suggestion.
This is Three (Pretty)
Hey Daddy,
he said, waiting for eye contact.
would you like to decorate some Christmas things with me? We could make it look beautiful.
Making the world beautiful.
What every one of us should try and do in a small way everyday.
Even in non-December months.
This is Ten (molon labe)
Hey Daddy,
he said, rushing up.
I’m changing the short story I’m writing: the setting is still going to take place in Sparta, but instead of it being during the Peloponnesian Wars like I told you, it’s going to be during one of the Persian invasions instead.
Okay,
I said.
I guess since you’re done with your other schoolwork you can work on that, and thank you for updating me with the change.
Ten
Mud swinging
Eleven
UNO and being a good sport
Objectively speaking
I do not recall how the the thread began, but I was lying by my daughter as the lights twinkled outside her window and we somehow got on the subject of Ayn Rand and the differences between her major works, and how they became co-opted by the far right.
What the specifies are are less important than the moments that passed as we talked about philosophy late on a Wednesday night, and it was hard not to get a little emotional connecting that congestion with the rootsy, gut punching Jason Isbell album Reunions; a fine 2020 collection that concludes with the track “Letting You Go.”
Three in the morning I lay my hand over
Your heart just to know you were safe in your sleep
When you started walking I fight back the urge
To stay right there beside you, keep you on your feet
About his daughter.
Anyway. I think about this stuff. The moments behind, the moments ahead.
And the moments right now.
There’s some good ones.
Bye for now.
——
