Mother's Day well wishes (an open letter to my wife).

My initial Facebook post on her wall:

I know it's Mother's Day and all -

(oh: happy M-Day)

- but I'm not sure how I feel about your new habit of calling me 'Dude' every time you're speaking to me. That's going away tomorrow, right?

Selfie of Joseph and Becca, May 2009. When we were kids.

The ensuing comments:

Becca
Dude, thank you -
(for the happy M-day).
As far as tomorrow goes, Dude, I don't know, we'll just have to see about that...
Dude.

Joseph
No. This ends at midnight, Dude.

Becca
But, Dude, I get the feeling you secretly like it.

Joseph

Babe, what you gotta understand is that I need to be taken seriously, and when you call me 'Dude,' it's like, uhh, it's like...it's like...people, umm...you know what I mean?

You just gotta start not calling me Dude in public anymore. Thanks.

Becca
Fine. No more dude, Cowboy.

Joseph
No. Nor am I ‘Cowboy.’

Becca
Whoa! You're rather picky there, Turbo...

Joseph
'Turbo' is also out. How about simply 'Joseph,' or how about one of those hundred other endearing terms I've heard other loving spouses use on each other? Aren't we supposed to use those too, Goose?

Becca
You are so right, Sweetie-sweetheart-cheeks 🙂

Joseph
Thanks, Dear.

Becca
No problem, Shnookems.

Joseph
No.
Pill.

——