Deem, a Very Villainous Character, and Matt Damon


GENTLY, HE LEAPED ON MY STOMACH WHILE I SLEPT AND TOLD ME A TALE ABOUT DEEM, A VILLAINOUS CHARACTER THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT FAMILIAR WITH YET, BUT WILL GROW TO LOVE:


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Daddy, let's play D'Artagnan and Goliath! You be D'Artagnan and I'll be Goliath and I'll FIGHT YOU!


(waves drumstick ferociously, which makes me a very good parent for letting him do it while bouncing on the bed)


- What about David? I ask.


Yeah. D'Artagnan and Dave and Goliath, and they are on the Light Side, and they are fighting the people in the blue house with guns.


- There's people in a blue house with guns?


Yeah. They're on the roof because they're fixing the roof and Deem is there and he is on the Dark Side.


- Who is Deem?


Deem is Goliath's brother. He's bad. And Dave slings him with his slingshot.


(makes ferocious swooshing sound, simulating what looks much more like a bow-and-arrow than a slingshot)


- Oh. So what else transpires in this story?


They FIGHT, and Dave turns into David the King, and Darth Vader is on the Light Side.


- Darth Vader is on the Light Side?


Yeah. And Deem is on the Dark Side, and they're on the roof with the people with guns, and they're fighting the people in the brown house.


- There's a brown house? And Deem is still around?


Yeah. And I will fight them. Deem is bad.


- Okay. Shall we go make breakfast?


- Yeah.


We leap off the bed dangerously, and trot off to make potatoes.


THE END.

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It's Not Really a Ship (They're Just Pretending).

It's Not Really a Ship (They're Just Pretending). February 27, 2013
"We're going to St. Peters," he said.

- You mean St. PetersBURG?" she corrected.


"Yeah. St. Petersburg."


So off they sailed, a blurry course to the open sea, reflecting on childhood friends and the dreams they had.



Tribute to Spoon (All the Pretty Girls Go to the City, and Take Their Brothers).


Tribute to Spoon (All the Pretty Girls Go to the City, and Take Their Brothers). February 23, 2013


Matt Damon.


I feel like I've been coming up with a number of good ideas lately for improving the world, and my latest is this: 

1. If you don't know who Matt Damon is, then you should find out (he might have a Wikipedia page). The short version is that he is probably the fourth greatest living actor in the world today. 

2. Aside from being the most versatile actor in the universe, he is also possibly one of the most inspiring, enthusiastic people I have ever known, that I don't know. 

3. It is that quality of childlike enthusiasm that I adore. He seems like he just loves life. Like he genuinely enjoys doing what he does, and working with who he works with, and filling the earth with good cheer, like an out-of-season Santa Claus. I think he might be the most inspirational person alive, but I can't scientifically prove it. 

4. I would never actually vote for a dictator to become President, but if he was a dictator who happened to be running, then I would consider it, unless he was running against Paul Rudd, in which case I would be faced with the hardest decision I have ever had to make. 

5. I have a feeling that Matt Damon might be competitive in a similar way to me, in the sense that he would try very hard and trashtalk a lot and attempt to cheat, and then be okay in the end regardless of whether he won or lost, and then maybe write a story about it when no one was paying attention so he could fudge the history books a bit. I think there's a big lesson in that, which makes me kind of inspiring too. 

Good night, and happy week ahead.
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