Oscar’s Academy Awards.

Okay kids.
I said cheerily with an overdose of in-the-know confidence.
One of the cool things about the Academy Awards is that you'll be able to see clips from films that we won't let you watch yet, but that we're excited to see with you someday.

Like what films?
our daughter asked.

Like...The Grand Hotel Budapest.
I said.

You mean,
she asked, not skipping a beat.
The Grand Budapest Hotel?

Uhh, yeah, that's what I meant.
I said.
How did you know that?

She shrug-smiled.

I just know.
she said.

Children are so cool, even with their annoying propensity for getting smarter and funnier faster than they should.

The one awards show I love. Better be a good one.

Oscars? Bah, no big deal.

- Most enjoyable opening in several years. Jack Black is such a great interrupter.

- Supporting Actor.
Score for University of Montana! Well-deserved W for J.K. Simmons.

And, for possibly the last time tonight, I have a perfect score. One-for-one.

OSCAR AND ME THE GROUCH.

I don't have any regrets about spending an evening watching the Oscars. And I don't have huge regrets over my picks. But I certainly regret that for the next year, I will have to live with my wife gloating about her dominance tonight.

It's just a game.
I say.
It's all luck and educated guesswork.

Except for the years I win. Those years, it's a combination of savvy cultural awareness, crowd psychology dissection, game theory, and intellectual athleticism that is responsible.

But this year? Luck.

Congratulations, Becca Nutter Long. Savor it. The crown will not be yours for long.

Unless you consider one year a long time, in which case, I guess it will be yours for a while.

Also, I highly recommend locating the animated non-winning shorts The Dam Keeper and Me and My Moulton. Beautiful, both.