In which we cast the candidates as Star Wars characters upon seeing Episodes 4, 5, 6, and 1.

What about Marvin O’Malley?
I asked.
The other guy who’s running for the Democrats?

I don’t even know who he is.
my daughter said.

I know,
I said.
Because we’ve hardly seen him.

Well I can’t say because I don’t really know his personality.
she said.
But Marvin O'Malley sounds sort of like Lando.

Okay. I said. What about Carly Fiorina?

She... my son said. Would actually play a very good Princess Leia.
You think so? I asked. In what way?

Umm... he thought.
I don't really know.

Marco Rubio? I asked.

And I kicked Jed Bush out. he said.

I think Marco Rubio could play Chewbacca. she said.

Isn't Chewbacca tall? I asked.

But you said not to base things on how they look! she reminded me.

Good point. I said.

I think John Kasich should play Chewbacca. Or... he thought further. actually John Kasich should play an Ewok.

Rand Paul? I asked.

You'd vote for him?! the boy asked incredulously.

I didn't say that. I said. I just said that I have a certain amount of respect for him.

Rand Paul, she said carefully. Would be Luke Skywalker.

Rand Paul would be... he pondered aloud. that guy who had that thing over his ear, that electrical thing over his ear and he was walking with Lando.

You mean Jabba's lieutenant? The guy who works for Jabba?

You know, he insisted. the guy who has the thing over his ear that came walking over to Han Solo and he was with Lando...by the Millennium Falcon in the place with a bunch of towers and stuff.

I remember, I said. Who you're talking about. I think. But I don't remember his name.

Well, he said. Rand Paul would play him.

Rand Paul would be C-3PO. she announced definitely.

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