I'm sure she's fine, unless...

Couldn’t Mama be quick for once?
she asked.
She’s shopping for a long time.

I’m sure she’s hurrying,
I calmly replied.
Unless she got shot by someone with a slingshot.

That’s not funny.
she said.

I know,
I calmly replied.
It’s not funny, Hopefully she didn’t.

It’s not funny.
she repeated.

Well.
I said in the calm manner I frequently speak in.
Legally, it is funny, and look: there she is!

My calm demeanor is noted for its ability to de-escalate potentially volatile and stressful situations. No big deal anymore. It’s just what I do.