Police on speed dial.

Two young children playing alone in the deep dark forest. Note: this is not their bedroom.

The sounds of scuffling came from the bedroom. 

I peeked my head in, to the sight of two children in discord; I surmised quickly that the elder had committed the near-unpardonable offense of trying to use her brother's drumstick. 

- "Daddy, will you call the police?" our son asked me with frustrated indignation. 

"Why?" I asked. "Why do you want me to call the police?"

- "So they will come take Sissy away." 

"Well..." I pondered this. "I'm not sure where my phone is right now. How about we find another way to work this out?" 

-"Okay," he said. 

So everyone stayed out of jail. Hallelujah.