Car whiz (if I get big someday).

This was this morning’s Big Argument between an 11-year old and his 5-year old brother. It was held calmly, with deadpan resolve, and escalating giggles, and leads me to believe that thus far, two of my sons appear to have inherited my deep knowledge of automobiles, and, you know…car whiz stuff.

Note: there are two humans and a goat in this picture, and two of the three were involved in the discussion, below, although it took place in a different location.

When I get bigger,
he explained,
I’ll probably get a big car. What do you call the big ones? Whatever they’re called. I’ll get a big car.

When I get bigger,
The Younger echoed,
I’m going to get a big car too!

Yeah…
The Older replied immediately.
But the thing is, I’ll have a couple hundred big cars. I’ll be a…what do you call them? People who know a bunch about cars, or have cars sitting in their yard? Car whiz?

Me too!
Said the other.

Well,
the Elder continued.
I’ll probably have a flat field. A big one.

I will too!
said the other.
Why?

My field, however,
he said without skipping a measure,
My flat field will be filled with trash cans that I can zoom around and knock over, since it’s illegal to swerve when you’re driving and do it to other people garbage cans.

If I get big someday,
the Younger concurred enthusiastically,
then I’ll do that too!

Yeah…but my cars will be bigger,
the Big One said.

But mine will be huge too,
the Medium one said.

Yeah…
Big bro reminded him with a grin,
but the thing is, however big yours are, mine will be a little bigger. Even if it’s just a few millimeters.

Well,
said the younger bro equally enthusiastically and matching his grin,
I’ll have a couple hundred cars too, and they’ll be a bunch of millimeters big!

The Elder continued:
The thing is…however many you have, I’ll have a couple more.

The Younger responded excitedly:
Yeah, we can have about the same number of big cars!

The Older glanced up.
Oh hey Daddy, do you need a driver’s license to buy a car?

Umm,
I said,
if you’re driving on roads, then you need one.

Okay,
he nodded,
so I don’t need one then. I’m terrified of driving out in public so I’ll probably just get one of those old people scooter cart things for driving on roads. But at home, when I’m big, on my property, I’ll probably just have a big flat area where I keep a couple hundred cars. I’ll set up trash cans all over to knock down.

Me too!
his bro informed me!

Yeah,
his older bro informed me, and then looked at him:
…except however many you have, remember: I’ll have a few more, and however big yours are…mine will be a few millimeters more, even if it’s part of the uhh, what’s that thing on the front of the car that’s metal?

The bumper?
I hazarded a wild guess.

Oh yeah,
he confirmed.
The bumper, or whatever it’s called. It’s definitely be at least a few millimeters taller than yours.

They looked at me, nodding in asynchronous symmetry,
and I internally congratulated myself for raising not one, but two car whizzes.

Sounds like they take after me, their Old Car Whiz Pop.

(I’ve got some plans for if I get big someday too).