The subtle distinction between Fussing and Whining.
THE ONE-YEAR OLD.
Permission, forgiveness.
No.
I said, calmly one-arm extricating his squirming body from the corner.
You may not play in the garbage can. Seriously. I don’t want you crawling in or pulling garbage out of the garbage.
I looked inside the trash.
And, I sighed, lifting out a plastic cup.
I don’t want you putting stuff in the garbage without checking with us.
THE THREE-YEAR OLD.
Tomorrow’s another day.
My favorite color right now is blue,
he announced.
But later my favorite will be all of the colors.
Semantics.
I need you to not talk in that fussy, whiny tone,
I said, exasperated.
Ask in a pleasant way. No more fussing, no more whining.
Daddy!
he pleaded authoritatively through tears bubbling up.
Fussing is not whining and whining is not fussing, I’m not fussing and whining, they’re different.
Well which one are you doing?
I asked skeptically.
I don’t know,
he sobbed.
But I’m not doing both! Please don’t say I’m doing both!
The choice.
What should I do Daddy?
he asked authoritatively.
I’ll give you two questions: do you want me to do school on the computer, or do you want me to do yoga? Which one do you want me to do first?
How about,
I thought carefully,
we start with mathematics.
Theft.
I love our children. Always. But I don’t always feel like playing with them. Pretending, imagining, tea parties and picnics and the sing-song personification of various objects and stuffed animals. Great stuff. But you sometimes gotta find a way to make these things fun for yourself as well in order to be the best person and parent possible. So…more on that soon.
You never
Can you play with me now Daddy? He asked. Will you play with me?
Um, yeah, I said. I will play with you soon.
His shoulders slumped. You haven’t played with me in a long long time! Why haven’t you played with me?
Okay. I said. I will play with you in ten minutes.
THE TEN-YEAR OLD.
Why does it seem,
he asked.
like most Republican ads don’t really say what the candidate is for? It seems like they’re mostly negative things about their Democratic opponent. And they use pictures of their opponents that look like they’ve been Photoshopped to make them look darker and in shadows.
To make them look darker and more sinister?
I sighed.
Not an accident.
Choices
Hey daddy! He said. Can we watch something on the television?
Yep. I said. Cartoons? Or what did you have in mind?
I was thinking, he said excitedly, either Tom and Jerry or CNN!
THE THIRTEEN-YEAR OLD.
Do you want me to get lunch together?
she asked.
Um,
I thought much longer than I needed to.
Yes. Yes please.
